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Monday, October 2, 2017

Back to basics again. It's been way too long since I wrote anything so here goes :) Can't believe it has been it's been almost 8 years since I started blogging. Recently, I found myself scrolling back to what I've written in the past and there were so many things that I started reminiscing about.

Writing really made me happy back then. I spared so much time writing that I found myself really loving it. At one point, I truly believed that the more I wrote, the closer I was to writing as a living.

Over the years, life took its toll. Priorities changed. I changed. I found myself being influenced and manipulated by the beliefs of the world. That is was almost impossible to do anything great in life or perhaps even reach a little dream.

Reality kicks in. And I find myself believing in self-doubt and inadequacy. There is no such thing as dreams when you have to be realistic and consider financial constraints, familial responsibilities and personal qualifications. 

In moments like this. I find myself truly contented with the fact that I have the liberty to write in an online platform Where writing is just, writing. No strings, no limiting factors. Just my thoughts and I. Memories all plated in chronological order to see how I've grown over the years.

I may not be where I wish I could be. Nonetheless, I am glad to be where I am supposed to be now. I am ever grateful that this blog has still been kept alive over the years to show that I love writing. I never stopped. 


♥ let the night fall
@ 10/02/2017 07:42:00 AM

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Resisting stillness

In the stillness I hear,
Of loud whispering in my ear,
They lie and deceive,
And trick me into believing.

I am inadequate, I am small;
I am nothing, I am bound to fall;
I will never be good enough, I will never succeed;
These are the lies you are meant to heed.

In the stillness I fear,
Little voices creeping in,
Of what, dear;
Oh heck, they’re no sweet whispering.


♥ let the night fall
@ 3/01/2017 08:52:00 AM

Thursday, February 16, 2017

14 February 2017

PS: This is written to show my appreciation to the man who traveled all the way from Penang to Tanjung Malim to be with me on Valentine's. Thank you for all the efforts and love you've showered me with. Words simply cannot express how grateful I am to have you in my life.

So, the bf surprised me by magically appearing at the door where I lived. He personally delivered things I left at home and a handmade gift created by his bare hands hahaha. Love it so much, especially the cute little drawings of stick figures which has three legs LOL! Then, the flowers were delivered just exactly when I was doing something else. Flowers were so preettyyyy and they won't wilt so that's a pluspoint! :D Later, he removed me from the jungle and brought me to civilization to go kai kai and have dinner at Peranakan Place. The chicken so wangi, I kid you not <3 nbsp="" p="">

Favourite drawing : The queen looks like it's wearing a sarong/tuala LOLL

Roses came in such a pretty packaging. I cannot. <3 p="">

Coz he doesn't eat ladies finger, i get double portion MUAHAHAHA 

All in all, even if we were just to sit by the lake and eat fried rice, I'd still be the happiest person alive to have you by my side for one more day. 
Thanks for making it a memorable day, love. 
Love you loads :)


♥ let the night fall
@ 2/16/2017 06:24:00 PM

Thursday, January 12, 2017

11 January 2017

So, bae and I got to do a little couple's shoot
pretty happy with the outcome
even though I had to run here run there, 
alternating between being behind the shot and inside the shot
(burned enough calories to last 'til 2018 lol)

♥ the puns-dude :P

lesson learned : front camera is a definite no-no


♥ let the night fall
@ 1/12/2017 12:02:00 PM

Wednesday, January 11, 2017


[noun, adjective in-truh-vurt; verb in-truh-vurt]

1. a shy person.
2. Psychology. a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings (opposed to extrovert).

It's 12:54 am and I must be getting my period soon. Super emotional, like a tiak! on my forehead and I'd just burst into thin air. LOL. Anyways, as the title above mentions : INTROVERTS.

I know about 60% of the population must be saying that introvert-ism is so old school, people just give themselves an excuse to be alone and depressed all by themselves and what not weh weh weh. Well, it's true, we, introverts are just losers. We make excuses to avoid social events. We ARE the reason why people feel awkward around us because we're so awkward that we make the people around us breathe awkward air and feel ten times more awkward being in a close proximity within our radar LOL.

Well, to the 40% of you who knows what introverts feel, I'm here for you :)

Growing up as an introvert was never easy. When I was younger, I didn't really know how to have good communication with people. And I felt rejected most of the time. I remembered being commented that I was weird/annoying (everything was a blur when I was young, but in my defense, I was always blur hahaha) once because of the way I reacted on a chatting site with my friend. Talk about keeping tracks of the past lol. But some memories just like to hang around in the cerebrum/cerebrellum for the longest time. Maybe cause it really scarred me.

I never blamed my friend of course. I accepted it. Over the years, I always felt out of place. Like I was always put into a situation where I was constantly rejected and made to feel like I was a total loser. The sad part was accepting it. My experience alone has thought me to fake a smile when it was most needed. I have definitely mastered the art of literally being put down right in the face, pretending like it didn't hurt me and laughing it off just so I wouldn't seem like a complete loser.  

The problem with scars is that it leaves you in a place where you stop trying. Where you have experienced a total letdown that it leaves you completely paranoid to ever try again. Well, that's what brings us to where we are. Introverts. It gives birth to introverts. Scarred people. (well, not literally, otherwise all the introverts would have a scar on our foreheads like Harry Potter as a form of identification lol)

Introverts are constantly misinterpreted as snobbish people. We're not exactly snobbish, we're just AWKWARD. Instead of causing you to have to undergo the effects of feeling more awkward around us, we just choose to put you out of such situations by not conversing.You should be thanking us ! How kind we are ! lol

And just because we don't look into your eyes, doesn't mean we're not friendly or have something to hide. We're just that UNCOMFORTABLE making eye contact. They always say that liars have problems looking into people's eyes, but where is the dictionary that states that introverts have the same problem too ! All the prejudice tsk tsk tsk !

Anti-social, people that are not even trying, lone rangers, power rangers. We've heard it ALL before. Yes, I'm a power ranger with the ability to shoot laser beams from my right arm. The thing about introverts is that we would rather spend days indoors reading a book (well, not me), watching dramas, writing, painting or whatnot, than going out meeting people, socializing and partying. It may seem all cool on Instagram but we would just rather stay indoors while envying others who have a social life. But we just don't wanna take the risk of putting ourselves out in the social zone. 

Ever so often, introverts get that feeling of breaking out of the shell and stepping out into the "non" comfort zone. And if you broke out successfully, well congrats ! It really is amazing to be able to step out.

But if you didn't, it's ok. It's not wrong. Sometimes we fail to see how introverts matter in this society. It's not a defect, it's a gift. Introverts have the sense of compassion no one else can understand. We know what it feels like to be at a low point that when we see another person undergoing the similar situation, we can relate. We become useful in a society where we are seen as useless. I guess that's the beauty of it. We're small but we've got bigger hearts than any of you losers :P (just kidding hahaha)


♥ let the night fall
@ 1/11/2017 01:41:00 AM

Friday, November 18, 2016


Have you ever noticed the way raindrops look when the sunlight shines directly at it?

The little rain drops falling from the tree after a heavy downpour and the way the sunlight shines directly at it.
It's breathtaking. Like sparkles of diamonds hanging mid-air.

It's always the little things that captures my attention. When we're leaving in a ever fast-paced lifestyle, it can get rare to stop and smell the roses these days. But when you do, it keeps you alive :) 

I'm very easily pleased. I don't need big extravagant gestures to feel appreciated. I like little things, simple gestures. And I appreciate those things. When my boyfriend and I first went out, the one thing that really captured my attention was the fact that he opens the door for me. I'm not one that is drawn by the big things, I appreciate simple gestures as such because it was probably the most beautiful sight when he opened the door for me. As cheesy as it sounds haha. 

But yeah, because I've always found pleasure opening doors for others (it's a weird pleasure, I know). When I go out with my friends and if there's a door in front of us, I like to open the door for them and what not. So, when this man opens the door for me, I was basically a little bit swept off by him. That's the kind of person I am. 

The fact that even when he's driving, he takes little glances at me and the fact that he holds my hand at red lights. It's simple things like these that I appreciate most. (I hope it's not just the honeymoon stage, you better be holding my hand at red lights even when we're old lol)

Sometimes people can get so caught up by what they see on the media and big extravagant professions of love to indicate how much they love them when it's actually the simple things that matter more. When I'm old and grey, I wouldn't expect my husband to be dancing to me in public areas cause he might just break his bones. But it'd be nice to still have someone holding your hands sincerely as gestures of love.


♥ let the night fall
@ 11/18/2016 05:38:00 PM

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Hello there ! :)

Been a while since I've written anything here. Schedule's been crazy hectic and I feel bad every time I have some free time and I start surfing the net or check social media instead of doing my assignments or anything related to my studies. Workaholic issues, period. But I've decided to take some time off right now to just share some thoughts. 

So recently I came across this article by ThoughtCatalog and as I was reading it (I emphasise on the word READING, I'm actually reading something and that's a big thing to me haha). Well anyways, as I was reading, I came across this section *points to the picture above*

"Don't compare your life to others, everyone is on an individual journey and is on a completely different path.."
This certain line was an eye opening matter to me. I guess there are times when we feel unsatisfied with who are. Our accomplishments, contribution or just whatever achievements we wish we could have attained. People around us always seem to be achieving something great in their lives and the biggest question we've ever asked ourselves is "What am I gonna get for dinner?"

We start comparing our lives to others. We feel disheartened that we aren't as capable as others. We put ourselves down. We say bad things to ourselves and place ourselves in a box labelled "Useless Items".

I guess we just need to stop doing  whatever it is that we're doing to ourselves. And start trusting. Trusting in the time of our life. We may not be at a place where we wish we could be but at least we shouldn't make ourselves feel like crap. Everyone's different in their own ways and everyone's on a different path. Don't compare yourself to others. Focus on what your strengths are. And NEVER put yourself down. Be arrogant. Praise yourself a little too much. The world has provided you with enough crap to put you down, you deserve to put yourself on a pedestal.


♥ let the night fall
@ 11/09/2016 11:48:00 AM